It was
covered in 2007 by Scientific America that men can lactate. While many would pawn this off as a useless fact they might throw out there at parties, I see it as a fantastic business opportunity. Presenting...
Father's MilkFancy people all around the globe are looking for milk that beats out the milk that poor people drink. Whole milk just doesn't cut it! Sometimes you need something fancier. Father's Milk is the rarest milk of all. Rich people will pay $25 a gallon, making me a rich and happy man.
Competition for cowsCows have stopped trying their hardest, thinking they're the only milk product that people like. Father's Milk is the most delectible drink in the world, giving the cows a run for their money! The cows will have no other choice but to try harder. Cows milk will taste twice as good, but still not as good as Father's Milk!
Saving the economyCurrent America has the worst economy since the Great Depression. Men everywhere are out of work. While most of them are down in spirit, thinking they have no talent, the majority of them also aren't aware that they have the ability to lactate. Once I open up my man milk factories, job openings will open up everywhere. This will result in a richer America, full of working men!
A bad person might under-pay these lactating heroes because they're somewhat desperate for money. Not me. Everyone will get $8 an hour and fantastic vacation days! I'm still working out all the details with President Max, but things'll be pretty good for our workers.
Spin-off productsWould you rather use cow's butter on your toast, or man butter? The answer is obvious. Man butter, dude ice cream, and male shakes! All wont quite be as popular as father's milk, but all will have the same fantastic quality! Soon American will be a nation full of milk produced by male lactation factories.
