I've had so many 80s songs stuck in my head for the past two months it's ridiculous. Truly not a time existed more stunning and over-the-top as this one. Below is a list of personal favorites. Let's start with a classic shall we?
Watching Madonna run around aimlessly and sexually assault a statue of Martin De Porres in what is an essentially a cliff notes version of To Kill A Mocking Bird has never been so much fun. Bonus points for Madonna actually looking attractive without millions of dollars worth of surgery.
According to wikipedia, frontman Nick Van Eede came up with the lyrics while voraciously fucking his girlfriend. Somehow that does not surprise me.
Here's a video so god awfully over the top a bunch of tools managed to get away with starting an equally god awful youtube meme. I bet doing a bunch of sports in the middle of the night at a cathedral/boarding school would be fun though.
How could I talk about the 80s without talking about this gay sir? Well I could. And I will.
Nothing sates my incurable father snake like a retarded looking Guido, a bunch of 'roid pumping body builders wearing hot pants and sleeveless tees, and in the middle of it all a fine pair of cheetah pants being worn by some fine honey baby doll.
SUDDEN DEATHby homoeroticism
I want to make a game about this. It would sell millions. I really don't think anything else need be mentioned but the sheer power of Larry Blackmon's red codpiece. I stand in awe and also I think I ejaculated.
I think the moment that defines this video is the point at which Andy Bell does 7 back flips in a row to pick some flowers.
Concerning the 80s
Posted at: March 01, 2010, 04:51:42 PM by Fullverse, The Jhigisid
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Child Factory
That is all.
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Posted at: February 15, 2010, 03:19:29 PM by Desert Cat
That is all.
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Business Meeting: Cyber Bullying Awareness
Posted at: January 25, 2010, 12:57:17 PM by Desert Cat
At the end of school last week all the students were called into an assembly to learn about one thing: cyber bully. At first when I heard the term cyber bully I giggled to myself. "How can anyone be mean on the internet?" I said out loud to myself. My experiences on the internet has always been a happy and peaceful one. The thought of bullies like Scut Farkus on the internet just didn't make sense to me! But then, ironically, I learned some things at school...
Most cyber bullies are middle school girls.

Your worst nightmare.
Apparently most cyber bullies are little girls. This, of course, is hard to believe mostly due to the fact that there are no girls on the internet. Regardless, if you're being trolled hard or just plain bullied, there's probably a 12 year old girl on the other end of the keyboard. The ratio of male to females on SBboard are 5:1. The ratio of good people to bullies on SBboard are also 5:1.
There is something non-specifically illegal about cyber bullying.

The fuzz busting a cyber bully.
The guy with glasses at the seminar didn't exactly say what was illegal about cyber bullying or what the punishments were, but either way if you're a bully you're a criminal. There was over 8 billion arrests last year for the crime of cyber bullying. That's 2 billion more than the total world population. Were you arrested last year?
Cyber bullying causes death in all cases.

A dead animal.
Listen to this story that I was once told: a girl was texting while driving got hit by a car and died. This is unrelated, but was still told to me as a reason not to cyber bully.
Remember: Cyber bullying is a sin?
9 comments | Login or register to add yoursMost cyber bullies are middle school girls.

Your worst nightmare.
Apparently most cyber bullies are little girls. This, of course, is hard to believe mostly due to the fact that there are no girls on the internet. Regardless, if you're being trolled hard or just plain bullied, there's probably a 12 year old girl on the other end of the keyboard. The ratio of male to females on SBboard are 5:1. The ratio of good people to bullies on SBboard are also 5:1.
There is something non-specifically illegal about cyber bullying.

The fuzz busting a cyber bully.
The guy with glasses at the seminar didn't exactly say what was illegal about cyber bullying or what the punishments were, but either way if you're a bully you're a criminal. There was over 8 billion arrests last year for the crime of cyber bullying. That's 2 billion more than the total world population. Were you arrested last year?
Cyber bullying causes death in all cases.

A dead animal.
Listen to this story that I was once told: a girl was texting while driving got hit by a car and died. This is unrelated, but was still told to me as a reason not to cyber bully.
Remember: Cyber bullying is a sin?
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Business Pitch: Dark Milk
Posted at: January 17, 2010, 05:17:24 PM by Fullverse, The Jhigisid
As I'm sure you all know, I am a black man. But just what kind of black man am I? I am a black man with a fiery cry, I like catcher in the rye, and I'm honest so don't expect me to tell a lie. But more importantly, I am a black man who cares about the state of this company and all it's employees. Being as such, I present to you an idea from my culture that just might be able to raise this company to where it belongs (next to McDonalds and a crack house).
Dark Chocolate Milk
Going off from esteemed team player Desert Cat's idea, the milk produced by both African American males and various species of Chimpanzee could very well be the product this company needs to offset Quirky Hardwork's monopoly once and for all. Why you ask? This handy pie chart will explain everything:

And there you have it, a fool-proof plan that will increase our profit margins by a percentage so large that it does not exist! If you have any questions please direct them to our Customer Services rep, Qrs22.
10 comments | Login or register to add yoursDark Chocolate Milk
Going off from esteemed team player Desert Cat's idea, the milk produced by both African American males and various species of Chimpanzee could very well be the product this company needs to offset Quirky Hardwork's monopoly once and for all. Why you ask? This handy pie chart will explain everything:

And there you have it, a fool-proof plan that will increase our profit margins by a percentage so large that it does not exist! If you have any questions please direct them to our Customer Services rep, Qrs22.
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Pants on the ground

Now everybody be topical and talk about how funny it is.
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Posted at: January 15, 2010, 03:38:08 PM by Fullverse, The Jhigisid

Now everybody be topical and talk about how funny it is.
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Business Pitch: Father's Milk
Posted at: January 08, 2010, 10:30:41 PM by Desert Cat
It was covered in 2007 by Scientific America that men can lactate. While many would pawn this off as a useless fact they might throw out there at parties, I see it as a fantastic business opportunity. Presenting...

Father's Milk
A more expensive milk
Fancy people all around the globe are looking for milk that beats out the milk that poor people drink. Whole milk just doesn't cut it! Sometimes you need something fancier. Father's Milk is the rarest milk of all. Rich people will pay $25 a gallon, making me a rich and happy man.
Competition for cows
Cows have stopped trying their hardest, thinking they're the only milk product that people like. Father's Milk is the most delectible drink in the world, giving the cows a run for their money! The cows will have no other choice but to try harder. Cows milk will taste twice as good, but still not as good as Father's Milk!
Saving the economy
Current America has the worst economy since the Great Depression. Men everywhere are out of work. While most of them are down in spirit, thinking they have no talent, the majority of them also aren't aware that they have the ability to lactate. Once I open up my man milk factories, job openings will open up everywhere. This will result in a richer America, full of working men!
A bad person might under-pay these lactating heroes because they're somewhat desperate for money. Not me. Everyone will get $8 an hour and fantastic vacation days! I'm still working out all the details with President Max, but things'll be pretty good for our workers.
Spin-off products
Would you rather use cow's butter on your toast, or man butter? The answer is obvious. Man butter, dude ice cream, and male shakes! All wont quite be as popular as father's milk, but all will have the same fantastic quality! Soon American will be a nation full of milk produced by male lactation factories.
29 comments | Login or register to add yours
Father's Milk
A more expensive milk
Fancy people all around the globe are looking for milk that beats out the milk that poor people drink. Whole milk just doesn't cut it! Sometimes you need something fancier. Father's Milk is the rarest milk of all. Rich people will pay $25 a gallon, making me a rich and happy man.
Competition for cows
Cows have stopped trying their hardest, thinking they're the only milk product that people like. Father's Milk is the most delectible drink in the world, giving the cows a run for their money! The cows will have no other choice but to try harder. Cows milk will taste twice as good, but still not as good as Father's Milk!
Saving the economy
Current America has the worst economy since the Great Depression. Men everywhere are out of work. While most of them are down in spirit, thinking they have no talent, the majority of them also aren't aware that they have the ability to lactate. Once I open up my man milk factories, job openings will open up everywhere. This will result in a richer America, full of working men!
A bad person might under-pay these lactating heroes because they're somewhat desperate for money. Not me. Everyone will get $8 an hour and fantastic vacation days! I'm still working out all the details with President Max, but things'll be pretty good for our workers.
Spin-off products
Would you rather use cow's butter on your toast, or man butter? The answer is obvious. Man butter, dude ice cream, and male shakes! All wont quite be as popular as father's milk, but all will have the same fantastic quality! Soon American will be a nation full of milk produced by male lactation factories.